Thoughts on Cooking

Being a homeschoolin' Mama to eight requires, as my friend Barb says, 'wearing a lot of hats.' Over that past two or three years, I've found myself resenting/dreading/slacking in the area of cooking for my family.  It just seemed like one more task to try to fit in, and often I failed to plan, so after a successful day of homeschooling, at about 4:47, I'd suddenly think, "Oh--DINNER!!"  Cooking felt like an endlessly-undone task.  I was simply trying to stave my begging children off for another 2.3 hours every time I fed them.  My husband has come home some weeks asking innocently, "So, what kind of frozen pizza are we having tonight?"

Plus, I've never been one to really enjoy cooking. My Mom was too kind and gentle on me as a teenager, and I was never required to do much of anything in the kitchen, including cleanup.  I distinctly remember calling her during my newly-wed days, asking her how to make tea.  I kid you not.  My Mom and Mother-in-law were surely snickering behind their hands, but were gracious to give me tips, recipes, and ideas over those first years.  Kevin was blinded by love and endured a lot of sub-par food.  Ask him about the tuna casserole event.  

These days, the world seems full of people who love to cook and create in the kitchen, but maybe there are some of you out there who feel as I have.  Recently The Lord has allowed me some insight that has really helped my attitude and motivation, and maybe it will encourage you, too.  

As a child, I remember having a certain feeling when my Mom was in the kitchen cooking or baking.  There was a sort of anticipation, and a sense of security.  Though unable to articulate it at the time, I felt loved and cared for.  Even when the menu included something I considered gross, I never doubted that dinner would be on the table and perhaps if I ingested the gross stuff, there would be dessert. I liked it when Mom was in the kitchen.  

Even as an adult, food has clearly communicated love to me at times when I've been on the receiving end of a nice meal.  After the birth of each of our children, kind friends have showered us with dinners to give us a helping hand.  Probably near a hundred meals, if I were to figure ten or so for each child's birth.  What a simple but powerful way to put love in action for a tired and sore Mama and her adjusting family!  

So, lately it's helped my motivation and creativity to remember that I'm giving my children that same subtle feeling of security when I'm creating something in the kitchen. There's so much more involved in making a home for your family, but food is a big part of it. I certainly no gourmet cook, but I'm hoping that even my small efforts will communicate love to my clan.

Merry Christmas!

Here are some of the things we've been doing over the past few days.  We got a couple of inches of snow, which isn't quite as much as we'd have liked, but is apparently enough to carry a sled down our steep backyard, with a nice little shove. :) Annesley celebrated her sixth birthday, and unfortunately has been sick since that day, but she seems to be improving, so we're thankful.

Merry Christmas to you all!  Enjoy your day with family and friends, celebrating God's blessings to us, and our Hope in Jesus Christ!

Simplifying Christmas

Like most people, I love Christmas time. It's so much fun to give and receive gifts, wrap presents, listen to Christmas music, bake goodies to enjoy. Last year, I was just plain tired. All the many Christmas traditions we've started and maintained began to feel like a burden. Inwardly I groaned, "Do we really have to decorate Christmas cookies, make gingerbread houses, go look at lights, draw names and shop among the siblings, buy advent calendars, watch the light show on Metcalf, etc, etc, etc..." I was feeling a bit Scroog-y. We did those things and I tried to maintain a good attitude. I do of course want to make special memories for and with my children. I just want to find a balance between laziness (on my part) and frenetic activity that wears me out and makes me a grumpy Mom.

After the Christmas season last year, I purged a lot of my Christmas decorations. I just had too much stuff. So, I kept the things I really think are beautiful or that the kids really enjoy. This year putting up decorations was so nice and simple. A few things here and there, and of course the tree. I think I'm going to apply my decorating philosophy to our busy Christmas fun "to-do" list. We will keep the things that are really important, and if we need to skip a thing or two, that's okay. My goal won't be doing it all, but making what we *do* get around to special.

Leading Gently

No, we actually don't do our schoolwork on slates.  

Rowan was practicing her times tables at the one-room schoolhouse at Deanna Rose.  

Last week I asked one of my older kids to take over leading a portion of our memory work practice while I was unavailable for about 30 minutes.  After I came upstairs later, I was met by several children with animated accounts of who wasn't cooperating, who had a bad attitude, and who was irritating assorted people and in what ways.  This didn't really surprise me, as I know it's hard to submit to authority, period.  But especially when that authority is your not-that-much-older brother or sister.

I did my best to sort out what happened and talked to the offenders about their behavior, and then I pulled the child that was the designated leader of the memory work aside.  "You need to make it easy for them to follow you.  Don't lord it over them and be too bossy.  Be gentle, and kind, and they'll respond to you so much better. You might still have some problems, but you're automatically making them not want to obey you by your attitude."  A few minutes after giving this little talk, it suddenly occurred to me that I need to be reminded of that message, too.  (I'm a little slow sometimes!)  Do my children want to please me with their obedience?  Do I make it pleasant and easy?  Do they feel a sense of sadness when they disobey, or is my anger stirring up their own?

    Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
        sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Proverbs 16:24 ESV

I'm always struck by stories (usually written in the 19th century) that portray children feeling deep sadness when they've disappointed their parents.  Now, I know these are fictional accounts, but I think there's a truth there: when you love and respect someone deeply, it hurts you when you hurt them. Ultimately as Christian parents, we are pointing our children to Christ.  We want our children to cling to Christ, to know that they are loved and accepted by God if they are truly saved.  We want them to want to obey the Lord, and to feel godly sorrow when they fail, leading them to repentance.  As a Mom, my job is to model these concepts, this love to my children.  I am to be a loving leader, a gentle guide.  This is my prayer, and has been for so many years: to be a gentle Mother, pointing my kids to the Lord.  Certainly my kids see the reality of a sinner saved by grace daily!  And I rest in that.  But I also want to grow in this way.

Lord, help us to lead our children gently, lovingly.  Help us to not be so busy or hurried that we lose sight of the most important job we have:  Loving you and loving others, starting with the little people right in our own homes.

Wait...Where's Sam?

Nerf-lasering the baby's head

We have had a surprisingly good week here, though Sam is keeping me on my toes. This week, he's tasted and squashed two tubes of lipstick/chapstick, made a shallow pond on the bathroom floor during bath time, decorated our new living room chair and ottoman with a marker, hidden out in the dark pantry gorging on raisins, and this morning he ate a mouthful of colostrum tablets. (Don't worry, they aren't going to hurt him. It hurt me far worse as these are about a dollar a tablet.)

How's your week been?

7 Quick Things 2/21

1. We are finally on our own here at the Dennis house: My parents have come and gone and Kevin's Mom is back home, too. We loved having them, but now it's time to figure out the 'new normal' with a newborn in the mix. Elijah is doing well. He is starting to smile occasionally which is so much fun!

2. Last Thursday we took the kids to Cherry Berry to celebrate not having to show houses any more! (Did I mention that the family we are renting from sold their house?) The kids worked so hard so many times over the past year and a half, dropping everything to clean, organize, stage, and leave quickly for a showing. It has been so nice to not have to have the possibility of a showing in the back of my mind anymore!

3. The Lord has provided for us so wonderfully. We have a place to move to! A single man in our church is moving away and doesn't want to sell his house, so he has agreed to rent his home to us. It's large enough for our family and very close to our church, so we'll be saving some gas money, too! We found out recently that most owners of four-bedroom homes won't rent to a family of 10 (max of 2 children per bedroom), so we most likely would have had a hard time finding anything affordable for our family. Thank you Lord! We will move on April 24.

4. I am plugging away to finish my 2011 Bible reading plan. I have not been very consistent, but I'm not giving up! I probably have another two months until I'm able to complete the whole Bible. After that, I plan on delving into a few books of the Bible more in-depth with commentaries. There is so much I don't understand or know about God's word. It is so rich and deep--I think I'll spend my whole life learning more and more.

5. Now that we aren't receiving wonderful meals from friends that come with delicious desserts, and now that Valentine's Day is over, I am without excuse when it comes to getting serious about tackling my baby weight. Right now I have roughly twenty extra pounds, and I am asking the Lord to help me honor Him with my eating: for health, energy, and losing that extra weight. So often I don't think of eating as a spiritual issue. But it really is. It's about self-control and caring for this body so I can serve Him better.

6. While my Mom-in-law was here, I found myself self-concious about my impatient and unloving tone with the kids. This is not something new; I have struggled with this my entire career as a Mom. I think just knowing someone else was listening, too, made me more aware! I'm devoting myself to prayer about this and asking for growth in this area. One of the things that I love about Michelle Duggar is her calm and gentle voice with her children. I want that to characterize my mothering, too.

7. I'm reading a fantastic book right now. I could share so many different quotes that have encouraged me, but I'll just pick one.

When a friend gives a wonderful gift, it is right to examine and relish the gift. But it isn't right for the glory to remain on the gift itself, no matter how wonderful it may be. The focus belongs on the generosity of the giver....The gospel is good news for us, yes, but the goodness of this good news is not primarily about us or even our new identity. It is good news about him: his mercy, his faithfulness, his holiness and atoning sacrifice. It's a report about his great condescension as he traded his glorious identity for our shameful one. It's about his flawless character and infinite compassion. Even though he has become our life, the emphasis belongs on him, not on our identity, our sin, our standing, our successes, or even our joys. As wonderful as the gift of an entirely new, clean identity is, we won't spend eternity rejoicing in it. We'll spend eternity rejoicing in him. p. 61

Motherhood as a Mission Field

If you read Challies, you've probably already seen this. I loved it, though, and have to link to it here, too. Perhaps it's my hormonal state, but it made me cry. Go read it for some encouragement, Moms.

Sam Digs Dirt

As an experienced mother of a large family, I always forsee possible dangers when leaving my baby alone. I scan the room, mentally checking off any possible problems, then remove them or remove the baby.

Don't believe me? Me either.

This was funny, but I'm also aware that God protected Sam from eating some possibly poisonous plant leaves (or choking on the tag I discovered in his mouth when he smiled). He does this daily, I'm sure, keeping my little one safe from all the hazards that I miss. I will try to be more vigilant, and I'll keep trusting in the good providence of God.

Help!

Help! I'm a homeschool Mom and I can't get out of my pajamas!

Ladies, I have been up since 5:15, and I still can't seem to get it together!

Arggghhh.

More on Working Women

I ran across this video today and really liked what Douglas Wilson had to say. I think I like how he said it even more than how John Piper said it....

Ask Doug: Women working outside the home from Canon Wired on Vimeo.

I feel like I should add a disclaimer here: although Douglas Wilson has many good things to say with which we agree, he is also a part of the 'Federal Vision' movement, which we don't agree with or endorse.

Sola scriptura

Sola fide

Sola gratia

Solus Christus

Soli Deo gloria!

John Piper Answers Working Mothers Question

Five Sweet Months

Samuel, you are five months old today. The time is truly flying! I and your Daddy and brothers and sisters love your smiles, giggles, drooly faces, coos. You are such a gift to our family.

Your name means "Asked of God", and I chose this name for you (and Daddy agreed!) because I prayed for you before you were even in my tummy. I prayed for another child. I prayed for another boy. And God graciously gave us you.

I still pray for you, Sam, and always will. I pray that you will grow to be a godly man someday, who loves and serves God above all. And, as you're growing, I will delight in you and your little milestones. How can anyone say that children are a burden? You are a joy to us all. Happy five-months with us!

Bittersweet

This morning Annesley came toddling into my room, clutching her baby-of-the-moment and a doll pillow and blanket. 'Night-night', she said to me, indicating that I was to swaddle the doll for her. I did it as she watched attentively, no doubt making sure I was careful. I handed the bundle back to her and she tenderly planted a slobbery kiss on her baby's head.

I suddenly felt a sense of sadness, realizing that Annesley will only be my 'baby' for a few more weeks. Of course my love for her will not lessen, but once there is a smaller baby, that sense of protectiveness and tenderness moms have for their tiniest one will be transferred. Annesley will suddenly seem much more grown-up; a sturdy two-year-old who will dwarf a newborn. I'll have to watch out for the new baby when she comes near, as she'll try to 'love' him a little too much. She'll now have a sibling who is more vulnerable than she is.

So, it's bittersweet. So much of motherhood it, isn't it? As much as you try to enjoy your children, it's never enough, it seems. The messes and noises and fights and sleepless nights blur your vision.

And they grow in the midst of it all.

Lord, help me to treasure these last few weeks before our family dynamic changes. Help me not to miss these moments with my little ones because I'm focusing on the discomforts of late pregnancy and my desire for it to be over. Keep my vision clear and my heart tuned to all Your many blessings.

It's All Worth It

Yesterday I took a 'Mental Health Day', as I like to call them, and we didn't crack a textbook. We had a long wait at the doctor's office, then I attempted to haul all the kids with me to Costco. Not sure if that was brave or just stupid. :) Actually, they did remarkably well; aided, I'm sure, by the abundance of free food samples. As we were checking out, I was corralling a crying baby, hyper toddler, two arguing little girls, and keeping an eye on the older two. The elderly lady behind me put her soft, wrinkled hand on my arm and smiled at me. "It's all worth it," she said. "Every minute of it. I have six grown children and they are just wonderful. It's all worth it," she repeated.

I smiled back and thanked her for her kind encouragement. And for just a moment, I thought of myself in her shoes: Looking back on most of my years, instead of anticipating them. House quiet and still. Childbearing and nursing days long gone.

It really is all worth it. All of the exhaustion, frustration, and sacrifice is worth the joy and privilege of loving and knowing these little ones. Someday, when I'm gray, I'm going to pass that wisdom on to a young mother of many.

Love This Quote

I saw this quote from G.K. Chesterton on the Girltalk blog today. They've had lots of good stuff lately.

"[Woman is surrounded] with very young children, who require to be taught not so much anything as everything. Babies need not to be taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. To put the matter shortly, woman is generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren't...."

"[W]hen people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge [at his work]. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean…. I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children [arithmetic], and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness."