Wednesday, December 09, 2009
This morning Annesley came toddling into my room, clutching her baby-of-the-moment and a doll pillow and blanket. 'Night-night', she said to me, indicating that I was to swaddle the doll for her. I did it as she watched attentively, no doubt making sure I was careful. I handed the bundle back to her and she tenderly planted a slobbery kiss on her baby's head.
I suddenly felt a sense of sadness, realizing that Annesley will only be my 'baby' for a few more weeks. Of course my love for her will not lessen, but once there is a smaller baby, that sense of protectiveness and tenderness moms have for their tiniest one will be transferred. Annesley will suddenly seem much more grown-up; a sturdy two-year-old who will dwarf a newborn. I'll have to watch out for the new baby when she comes near, as she'll try to 'love' him a little too much. She'll now have a sibling who is more vulnerable than she is.
So, it's bittersweet. So much of motherhood it, isn't it? As much as you try to enjoy your children, it's never enough, it seems. The messes and noises and fights and sleepless nights blur your vision.
And they grow in the midst of it all.
Lord, help me to treasure these last few weeks before our family dynamic changes. Help me not to miss these moments with my little ones because I'm focusing on the discomforts of late pregnancy and my desire for it to be over. Keep my vision clear and my heart tuned to all Your many blessings.