Thursday, June 20, 2013

Modesty and Men and Women

I was just talking the other day with my friend Tara about the issue of modesty in culture.  This topic comes up often in my mind.  The lack of modesty among women and young girls makes me very sad.  Especially when those women and girls claim Christ.  And, now that I have a teenage son, my radar is always up and I notice things that are going to catch his eye and tempt him to stumble into lust.

I feel some disclaimers are in order here.

I am speaking not as a woman who has never dressed immodestly or struggled with the desire to do so. I have, and I am grateful for a husband who speaks straight with me.  In the first years of our marriage, Kevin would tell me what men thought about when they see an immodestly dressed woman, and I was shocked!  It took me a while to really believe it!  So, I get that we women do have a degree of ignorance about how men's minds are wired.  However, we also like attention, to look cute or sexy, to see men's heads' turn.  We feel powerful and wanted.  Little do most women know that the exact opposite is what is actually happening.

God made women's bodies beautiful and delightful to look at for men.  This is His idea!  I am certainly not suggesting that a) the naked body is shameful or gross, or b) that men are naturally perverts.  The issue is context.  Within the safety and unique relationship of marriage is when a woman gets to flaunt her beauty to her husband! He gets to fully enjoy her and she is seen not as an object, but a whole person who is loved and protected.  Imagine that you have inherited some loose diamonds.  You would not hold a handful as you cleaned the toilet or mowed the lawn!  Because they are valuable, you would take special care when and how you even took them out of their drawstring bag.  In the same way, our bodies, ladies, are to be protected and covered and handled with care, only exposed in the right circumstance of safety.

I am not writing this to make women feel shamed or looked down on.  I want to call women, especially women in the church, to really pray about this issue and consider the consequences of their choices.  Modesty is for our benefit.  Modesty is for men's benefit.  Please, please take a few minutes to watch this video.  I think the gal does a fantastic job of explaining the importance of modesty.

I know that lots and lots of bloggers are writing about this very topic, but I think it bears much more honest discussion. Women need encouragement in this area! God's ways are so perfect. He gives His law "so it may go well with us" (Deut.5:33), not so that our lives will be boring or stifled. I pray that if you are reading this today you will be encouraged, along with me, to prayerfully examine your heart concerning this issue.


Pam A said...

Thanks for your post Candice. I watched this video a few days ago and thought it was so good. I too found myself so much more aware of the modesty issue when my boys got to the teen years. I love that this lady is being proactive and offering some alternatives to what is out there right now. It's a difficult day in which we live for the men in our lives to remain pure when everything around them is calling them in the other direction. Interceding for them in prayer is a effective way to help them to fight this spiritual battle that is ragging today.

Anne said...

Great post, Candice. This video floated around Facebook quite a bit and was greatful to see that.