Blogging's a funny thing. There are some inherent dilemmas that come with it. How much do I share? How can I be 'real' and not give too much information? Even though I might be comfortable sharing this with some people, do I want to put this out for anyone to know? What's the balance between honesty and over-sharing? Am I able to present a realistic picture and not a false one? And then, there are motives to examine. Do I not want to share something because I'm too proud, or is because of wisdom and a desire to protect the others in my life? Am I intentionally putting a 'together' impression out on the web to cause others to think better of me?
These are questions I struggle with, and I'm sure I've erred on both sides of the balance before. It does help me to discern what to write when I consider my goals for this blog. It's not an online diary, as I don't share a lot of really personal things not fit for public consumption. But it does serve as a sort of record of our days, with pictures and anecdotes for far-away family and friends, and tips and helps I discover along the way.
However, I would say my main goal for this endeavor is summed up in one word: encouragement. I want to show what living for God's glory covered with God's grace looks like. I want to show how a sinner saved lives and struggles and learns and relies on the Father for daily help and joy. Like everything else, I'm not going to do it perfectly. But I guess that furthers the goal of a realistic picture.
After getting permission from my husband, I'm going to tell you something I haven't been 'putting out there': The past several months have been a struggle for me, for us. We've been working through some tough marriage stuff. I remember thinking when I was twelve or thirteen that after a few years of marriage, people just kindof figured things out. I know, I know...what was I thinking? Even then, I knew families who were dealing with divorce and discord. But I suppose I didn't spend much time on the logic of my conclusion at that age! Marriage is hard work. It hurts sometimes. It daily reveals the sinfulness in our hearts and the selfishness that we will battle until we are freed from our bodies someday.
So, I'm telling you this to be real, but more, to encourage you. God is faithful. He's there even when your heart hurts so much that your body hurts. He hears your cries. He does work miracles. When we're waiting, and longing for things to improve, it can seem so hopeless. But cling to Him. As a dear friend who counseled me recently said, "Let God fill the hole you are feeling in your heart." Try to focus on pleasing Him, hard as that is when all you can seem to think about is your hurt.
Hope in God. I saw with my own eyes this past week how God works miraculously in the hearts of His people. He worked in mine, and in Kevin's. He is healing and building and growing us. Praise and glory be to Him! He is faithful.