Tuesday, August 31, 2010


I recently picked up a book called The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo. I am enjoying it so much--not because it's a 'fun' read, but because it is filled with so much biblical wisdom and truth. I wanted to read this book because we have a child who struggles with anger, and at times I'm at a loss as to how to handle the outbursts. I have already gained a lot of insight from this book; not only concerning this particular child, but concerning my own heart!

While each person (children included) is responsible for his own actions and has a sinful heart by nature, I have been realizing that I've been doing things to worsen the anger of this child. Right off the bat, Lou Priolo gives a list of 25 ways that parents provoke their children to anger. It's a bit hard to read these and face them, but we (I) need to '
get the plank out of my own eye' first.

1. Lack of Marital Harmony

2. Establishing and Maintaining a Child-Centered Home

3. Modeling Sinful Anger

4. Habitually Disciplining While Angry

5. Scolding

The book contained this quote, which I love.
To 'scold' is to assail or revile with boisterous speech. The word itself seems to have a primary meaning akin to that of barking or howling.
Scolding is always an expression of a bad spirit and a loss of temper...the essence of the scolding is in the multiplication of hot words in expression of strong feelings that, while eminently natural, ought to be held in better control.
If a child has done wrong, a child needs talking to; but no parent ought to talk to a child while that parent is unable to talk in a natural tone of voice, and with carefully measured words. If the parent is tempted to speak rapidly, or to multiply words without stopping to weigh them, or to show an excited state of feeling, the parent's first duty is to gain entire self-control. Until that control is secured, there is no use of the parent's trying to attempt any measure of child training. The loss of self-control is for the time being an utter loss of power for the control of others.
H. Clay Trumbull, Hints on Child Training

6. Being Inconsistent with Discipline

7. Having Double Standards

8. Being Legalistic

9. Not Admitting You're Wrong and Asking Forgiveness

10. Constantly Finding Fault

11. Parents Reversing God-Given Roles

12. Not Listening to Your Child's Opinion or Taking His or Her "Side of the Story" Seriously

13. Comparing Them to Others

14. Not Making Time "Just to Talk"

--I'll have to finish this later; just discovered that I have a feverish little one....

1 comment:

Franck Barfety said...

It's OK to say that Kevin is the child in question :-) ha!