Saturday, May 09, 2009
Marriage is the Stem
Back in April, when Kevin and I went to the homeschool conference, we had the pleasure of hearing Todd Wilson speak again. By far, my favorite session was called "How to Be a Great Wife Even Though You Homeschool." And it really wasn't about homeschooling at all.
Todd began by telling us that years ago, he was a landscape designer, and, of course, among many other things, he thought he knew how to plant flowers. Grab a flower by the stem, wiggle it out of its plastic pot, plant it. He said he was surprised to hear one of his favorite t.v. gardeners say one day not to grab a flower by the stem, wiggle it out of the plastic pot, and plant it. He suggested grabbing a flower by the leaves instead. Why the leaves? If you break off a leaf or two, the plant will recover and grow new leaves. However, if you crush the stem, the plant always dies.
State history, piano lessons, sports, science, handwriting, (fill in your own blank here)....these are 'leaves'. All these things that hold our attention and push our husbands into 'second place' because of our busyness are leaves that can be broken off of our lives and yet not really harm anyone.
Your marriage is the stem. It is what is most important in your family! If the other things are done well, but the 'stem' of your marriage is crushed, everything else dies.
I really love this analogy and have thought of it often. So often we (I) think of blessing our husbands as an afterthought because we're so busy with all the little leaves in our lives. It's easy to do, and easy to feel justified about doing, because lots of things 'need' to be done! But we have to remember that those leaves won't last long if the whole plant is dying.
If you ever get the chance to hear Todd Wilson speak, go! He's so funny and real about his own family's challenges and struggles, while encouraging all parents who are 'in the trenches'.