Why I Should Avoid the Mall Like the Plague

It started with an innocent little coupon. Not just any ol' coupon, but one for a free pair of, um, unmentionables from a particular unmentionable store that I normally do not buy from. And, no purchase was required to use this thing. Anyone who knows me is probably aware that I am a sucker for any kind of money-saving bargain. I was obviously going to have to venture to the nicer mall in town, and on the way there, I was giving myself a little talk in my head. (Does anyone else do this? Just humor me and pretend you do so I won't feel weird.) It went like this: "In, and out. Get the free stuff and run. Lots of bright and shiny store displays. Temptation will be everywhere. Be aware that they want to take your money. Don't fall for it!"

My first mistake was going into one of my favorite stores, just to look, mind you.

The picture here tells what happened. Thankfully, I had somewhere to be by 3:15 that forced me to get out of the evil hypnotizing place. I am still trying to figure out what category I will need to steal money from to make this work.