Sunday, October 29, 2006

Worry and Trust

Lately God has been teaching me some hard lessons... Revealing things to me about myself that I didn't even know. I have never considered myself a worrier, and have felt quite smug that I didn't have that problem. When I thought of a worrier, I pictured someone pacing the floor and wringing their hands with a distacted look in their eyes. That's not me. But God has shown me that I AM a worrier, even if I hide it well and think of it as 'planning', or 'concern'. You see, I have stressed and agonized about my ability to be a good enough mother to my kids since Keely was born. I have read enough parenting books to rival any library's collection, because I feel such a weight and responsibility to give my kids all that they need so that they can have happy,well-adjusted, godly lives as adults. Sounds reasonable, right? Not so. God is showing me (here's the hard part) that I am a broken person with all manner of baggage and sin, and that I am INCAPABLE of giving my kids 'all' that they need. Of course, I strive to give them all that I think is good and right and purposely train and instruct them as we rise up, lie down, and go out. But I will fail, daily, by commission and omission to be the perfect parent.

Thanks be to my amazing Father in Heaven that He is that perfect parent! I am learning to trust Him with my children: with their days, their education, their spiritual maturing, their futures. My sister-in-law has said, tounge-in-cheek, that she's starting her kids' therapy fund now, because she knows they'll need it later. It's a funny joke with a bit of truth. Even the best, most ideal parent doesn't create some kind of super-human with no issues. We not only have the mistakes our parents made arranged on our plate; but also our own sinful desires from inside our own hearts.

I am learning to daily choose to think less of myself and my importance in my children's lives so that I can think more of God's importance in their lives.

Friday, October 20, 2006


I praise God for a wife who is constantly seeking to do the right thing (cf. Pr. 31:10). She's well-read and is always being introduced to new thoughts and opinions that, of course, she wants to share with me! I've often bristled whenever she's been reading something new and then says, "Maybe we should...".

Lately, she's been buggin' me to read an article that was written by Steve and Terri Maxwell in a monthly email newsletter entitled Dad's and Mom's Corners. In it he describes his family's journey in deciding to reject Halloween in all its forms.

I hate to admit it, but I really didn't want to read it. I argued with her about it, passionately, even before I read it. She finally said that she wasn't gonna talk to me about it again until I read the article [sigh]. So I did. She was right, as usual [sigh].

Holidays, for me, are one of those things that I don't really think about: origins, meaning (other than Christmas and Easter), impact, etc. What a shame. I tend to compartmentalize life and only apply my faith when it's obvious. I've really been lazy intellectually: keeping with the status quo, allowing others to do the thinking for me or by not challenging my own thinking ("That's the way we've always done it" or, "My parents did it, so it must be o.k.").

There are a bunch of write-ups on both the pros and cons. I don't really care what others say about it (hence the irony of this blog!), unless their opinions are congruous with the Bible. However, I was curious what the origins of Halloween were. I guess I wasn't shocked, really. I just never gave it any thought. Maybe that's what the enemy wanted. We are in a battle after all (cf. 2 Tim. 2:4).